My phone battery is TANKING after latest update - conspiracy or just garbage software?

Iphone 14 user checking in - battery went from hero to zero after update. Apple's solution? "have you considered purchasing our newest model, available now for just $1499?" 🙄

former carrier employee: there's an internal document called "Update Transition Guide" that came out exactly 3 days before every major OS release. section 8.4 literally outlines "natural customer attrition through battery expectation management" <- corporate speak for "make them upgrade by killing their battery" 📱⚰️ but sure it's just a coincidence

Not defending big tech but... updates add features, features use processing power, processing power drains battery. It's physics not conspiracy. still sucks tho

battery capacity pixels 7 pro: 5000mAh 

actual usable after cycling: ~4500mAh 

minimum required for android 15: ~4200mAh 

google's solution? hamburger menu > settings > wallet > new device payments

Got drinks with buddy who works android kernel team. Straight told me they build "progressive resource allocation" = fancy talk for "older phone = less resources" = battery drain. Can't say more without getting him fired but update servers literally identify your device age

factory reset + don't restore from backup fixed it for me. Pain in ass but it works

my battery after update:

9am: 100%

9:05am: 87%

9:06am: 23%

9:07am: Please connect charger

9:08am: I'm actually dead now

Checked battery logs using ADB shell dumpsys batterystats. System server wakelock jumped 400% post-update. This isn't conspiracy, it's poorly optimized code pushing old hardware too hard

this is why i still use nokia brick from 2005. calls, texts, snake game, battery lasts 2 weeks. checkmate corporations

My 7yo niece watched me plug in my phone for the 3rd time today and deadass asked "why your phone always sick?" AND I HAD NO ANSWER 💀 These companies got us plugged into walls like we back in 1995 but with $1200 devices lmaooo make it make sense

tOtAlLy NoT bIaSeD tEcH rEvIeWeR hErE. just buy new phone every 6 months like normal person!! problem solved!!! #notsponsored #definitelynotsponsored

b̸̨̛͚̊a̸̖̐̏t̵̬̃t̵̺̦̔̍e̸̫̤͛r̶̢̈́̓y̷͙̌̅ ̶̙͔̑̋u̵̪̒s̵̫̙̈́å̶̘̰g̸̭̿̊ę̶̓̍ ̵̜̭̿m̶̞̏e̷͖̿t̸̙̎̈́r̵̖̈i̶̹̯͗c̷̞̊s̴̲̾ ̶̯̈̀s̴͚̚ḧ̵̲̤́o̶̥̊̀w̴̠̐ ̵̨̅1̶̨̌̽7̴̟͠ ̴̣͝n̴̮̓e̶̛̦͊w̶̰͙̕ ̵̺͋̈ṣ̵͆̚ė̷̜r̴̟̆v̸̞͉̅͘ȉ̸̢c̵̗̠̏e̵̼̐ṣ̷̊ ̴̠͈͒ą̴̆c̵̤̏̕t̸̙͐̕i̵̮̊̄v̸̲̩̑ȧ̵͙t̴̺̉̈́e̶̺̔d̵̺͙̓ ̴̛̫̙͌ǎ̴̜f̵̰̒t̸̲̂ͅe̸̞̿ͅr̴̖̤̈ ̸̖̯̉̕ų̵̊p̵̹̂͗d̶̺̫̓a̴̹͛t̶̳͚̾e̵̡̺̚.̶̡̲̏ ̸̱̩͛e̵͍̔ạ̸͋̀c̶̠͠h̵̦̿ ̶̢͆r̶̙̦̽̈ữ̷̬̓n̶̢͗̄n̸̢̯͠ḯ̸̘̖̀n̸̮̍g̵̢̺̒ ̵̲̿̑b̴̛̟͌ȁ̶̮̯̽c̵̤̭̎̕k̸̖̈̈g̸̭̃r̸̪͛o̷̰̎̑ù̴͖n̷̳̓d̴̻̓ ̶̠͊̑s̶̭̝͝c̸̩̎a̶̮̕͠n̶͈̓n̵̢̋̾i̵̘̊̂n̶̘̓g̵̨̟̕ ̶̦̓m̵̙̳̔o̵̠͐d̶̲͠e̵̮̔̇

I FOUND SOLUTION!!!! uninstall facebook, instagram, tiktok, all google apps, never use camera, keep screen at 10% brightness, turn off wifi, bluetooth and don't touch phone. battery lasts 3 days easy!!!!

Joined right-to-repair discord where they're developing custom ROM without all this battery-killing bloatware. Modern phones could easily last 3 days if companies actually wanted them to