Where is the line between responsible parenting and breeding 'ideal offspring' in the context of modern technology?

Question

My sister just announced she's pregnant and omg the list of things they're doing is WILD. Not just the usual prenatal vitamins and healthy eating, but they've literally created a spreadsheet of "optimal development interventions" starting from pregnancy through age 18?! Everything from playing specific classical music to the womb (apparently Mozart at exactly 70 decibels is ideal??) to already researching preschools with "cognitive optimization" programs. They've done genetic screening, are planning specific language exposure schedules, and have a literal TIMELINE for when to introduce certain foods, activities, even social situations. My brother-in-law talked about their kid's "competitive advantages" and I just sat there wondering when raising kids became like developing a product?? Don't get me wrong I want my future niece/nephew to thrive but this level of engineering a child feels uncomfortable. But then I wonder if I'm just being old-fashioned? Where's the line between setting your kid up for success vs treating them like a project to optimize? Especially now with all the tech and science available to parents?

damantiy · Answer

lmaooo ur sister &amp; my cousin should start a support group for "parents who think their babies are startups" 💀 my cousin literally pitching her parenting style to us at thanksgiving like it was a TED talk. next thing she'll be seeking series A funding for her toddler

veg · Answer

This disturbs me on multiple levels. While evidence-based parenting is certainly valuable, the current trend of "optimization" objectifies children and treats them as commodities rather than autonomous beings. The psychological implications are concerning

den2000 · Answer

So i did all that crap with my 1st kid. Classical music, baby einstein, flashcards, the works. Stressed myself to literal panic attacks. My 2nd kid? Lucky if i remembered vitamins lol. Both kids equally smart, equally happy, 1st one maybe slightly more anxious. Biggest waste of energy ever omg 😂

noo · Answer

We did genetic screening mostly to check for problematic health conditions, but our doctor offered this whole menu of additional tests including "cognitive profile" and "athletic predisposition" markers. Felt like we were building a character in a video game, not preparing for a baby. We stopped at the medical testing. Feels like there should be regulations around this stuff?

ice03 · Answer

yeah nah. tried scheduling my firstborns life &amp; it was hell for everyone. Kids aren't projects theyre chaos goblins who occasionally listen. All that micromanaging just teaches them they're never good enough exactly as they are

ysv2010 · Answer

To be fair your sister is responding logically to the reality of shrinking opportunities. College admission rates sub-5%, housing unaffordable, middle class disappearing. Ensuring competitive advantages for their child isn't crazy in this economic environment. I'd argue it's responsible

haykop · Answer

ok so listen. Went down this rabbit hole yrs ago w my twins. u know what those "optimally developed" toddlers need later? THERAPY. So much therapy. Turns out when ur every move is optimized from conception ur whole self-worth gets tied to achievement &amp; performing for others instead of finding genuine interests. Ask me how i know 🙃 (therapy. thats how)

wertyu · Answer

What we're witnessing is essentially consumer eugenics - the marketplace commodification of trait selection that was previously relegated to authoritarian regimes. The difference now is it's happening through parental choice rather than government mandate, but the philosophical questions remain identical

D_imager · Answer

most of this optimization stuff is just snake oil marketed to anxious parents willing to pay ANYTHING for "advantage" 🤷&zwj;♀️ like those $200 black/white contrast flashcards guaranteed to make baby smarter that are literally just... flashcards. capitalism preying on parental anxiety is the real problem here

psypolleype · Answer

When did yall get so SOFT?? Humans been selectively breeding for thousands of years. Domesticated animals, crops, ourselves by choosing partners w/ desired traits. Suddenly we have technology to do it better &amp; everyone loses their minds? If u could guarantee ur kid won't get cancer or alzheimer's, you'd choose not to? That's just stupid

8400MARION ave · Answer

6 months pregnant and freaking out reading this thread 😭 everyone has such strong opinions! we're just trying to do our best like??? just want healthy happy kid, taking prenatal vitamins, trying to eat well, downloaded a development app. is that already too much optimization or not enough?? why is everyone so judgmental about this stuff??